How to Get Unstuck and Move Forward: Motivational Interviewing
“Things do not change; we change” (Henry David Thoreau)
Change is difficult. It forces us to get out of our comfort zone, and that can leave us with mixed feelings. Part of us may be hesitant to change. We want to stay where we are, but we know that may lead to feeling stuck. But there is also fear and apprehension when moving in a new, perhaps uncertain direction. When we are in a state of having contradictory or mixed feelings about something or someone, it’s called ambivalence.
How have you reacted when someone tried to tell you to make a change, or given you reasons to do so? Did you get frustrated? Defensive? Angry? Maybe you dug your heels even deeper? If you answered yes, then you aren’t alone. That’s what most of us do.
This is because we generally know the reasons for making a change in our lives. That’s not the issue. The issue is committing to a direction. And this isn’t easy. In fact, it can be downright scary. It’s going into unknown territory.
Change happens in stages
This is where Motivational Interviewing (MI) can help. The aim of Motivational Interviewing (MI) is not to direct you towards new behaviors or ways of seeing things, but to help guide you using your own inner wisdom and strengths. Motivational Interviewing is a client-centered, collaborative style of conversation that seeks to help strengthen your motivation and commitment to change (Miller and Rollnick, 2013).
My approach in using MI is not to convince you of anything or to try to logically wrestle with you until you finally make a choice. That would be counterproductive. Rather, I will work with you at your own pace, working with your own internal reasons for wanting to change. This is a far more effective approach.
In fact, that ambivalence I mentioned earlier, that’s a normal part of the change process. Rather than criticize you for having that internal conflict, it is far more effective to see that conflict as important and necessary. It means you know that there is a change you want to or need to make. There’s value in that.
If you are feeling stuck or as if in a rut, and you would like help in making changes in your life, MI is a great process towards this goal. I will use MI to assist you in the stages of change so that it feels more natural and effortless than it may have before. In this process, you will gain greater confidence in your own ability and innate wisdom to make the changes that you believe will greatly improve your life. Feel free to reach out to see how I can help.
