How to practice self care even when you are struggling with anxiety, depression, and stress:

How often have you gone outside this past month? 10 times? 5? Not at all? Living with anxiety, depression, feeling overwhelmed by stress—all of these can cause you to feel like a hermit, to withdraw from life, and lose motivation. Then this creates a negative spiral of feeling worse, going out less often, feeling more disconnected, then feeling worse, and so on. What can we do to stop this spiral? 

Here are 5 tips that have helped me even when I’m not feeling my best (and even when I am at my best, because self-care is a mindset as well as a daily practice): 

1) Meditation: I know that meditation can seem an uncertain activity for many. It can be done, even if for only 5 minutes a day as only 5 minutes has been shown to improve your emotional wellbeing. And you don’t have to do it alone. I recommend the Mindfulness App for guided meditations. It’s free, right on your phone via the App Store or in the Google Play Store, and you get to hear a lovely voice guide you for 5, 10, or however many minutes you prefer. You can also set a timer reminder to help make it a daily practice. 

2) Writing in a journal. That’s something we can do from anywhere—from bed, the couch, wherever we are. “A journal? I hate writing,” I can hear some of you saying. I get that, I really do. But the thing is, many of us think of school when it comes to writing. That’s not this. This is all about you. Nobody is grading what you’re writing; you’re writing just to write, to express yourself, and I mean that literally— get your thoughts and emotions expressed, that is, push them outwards rather than keeping them trapped inside. Just like with my meditation recommendation, even setting a 5-minute timer is enough.

Then just write… about whatever you want to write about: your day, what’s going on in your life, that it sucks that you feel stressed and unsure about things, that you wish you felt more in control, that you’re still not sure about this journaling thing. Write whatever comes to your mind, just put it down to paper like your only job is to act as a stenographer in a courtroom. (One extra suggestion, if you find that anything you wrote about brought up some really uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, or memories, please make sure to talk to someone, a professional if you can. You can also contact me.)

So just write without filtering, and whether you choose to read what you write or not is up to you. Then just simply move on with your day. You can write on paper, your laptop, or your phone. If you’re more the creative type, you can express yourself through more artistic means like doodling or drawings or writing music or poetry. It’s your mind, your imagination, you have the power.

3) Chair Yoga/Qigong: Yoga doesn’t just have to be for the physically gifted. It’s for all of us. And some pretty creative people have worked to create more accessible ways to include yoga in our lives. In addition, Qigong (pronounced “chi gong”) is a gentle, flowing form of moving meditation. Even a few minutes a day, when you wake up, before you go to sleep, or whenever you have a moment, can help you feel more balanced and centered. Here’s a link to a YouTube channel that has easy-to-practice Qigong exercises.

4) Consider a new hobby or book you’ve wanted to read: Preferably this would be something that has nothing to do with work or any responsibilities. Back in early October of 2019, coming up on Halloween, and knowing I would be visiting my brother in California for a week, I went to Barnes & Noble to pick out some books to read. I was in the Horror spirit so I bought a short book on ghost stories. I also grabbed a few other books on fantasy and other fiction. I realized that I had not read a book that was just for me, just pure fiction for the fun of it, in years. I eventually read the stack of books I bought and then began reading The Wheel of Time which is 14 books long! I’m currently on Book 13, but it’s a lovely escape, something just for me. What might that thing be for you?

5) Join a support group: There are many different support groups that are filled with people who are experiencing what you’re going through. They might meet weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly. A quick Google search will show what’s in your area, but many are also online, so you don’t have to travel. It’s incredibly valuable to connect with others who understand you. We are not alone and none of us need to feel that we are. Try to take advantage of the resources that are available.

So, these are 5 tips to help you improve your mental and emotional well-being and sense of self empowerment. There is more available at our fingertips than ever before. I invite you to look at least one of these 5 tips and try it. Taking one small step can make all the difference in the world. Don’t wait until you feel the motivation, schedule it (eg, 1 pm tomorrow, I will go to the Barnes & Noble website and look for an interesting book to read). We may not be able to always control how we feel or the range of activities we can engage in, but we are certainly not helpless, never that. So which activity will you give a try? If you have any questions or thoughts, just shoot me an email. I look forward to hearing from you: hello@neilwolfson.com